The awkward understanding (Dan and Phil Phan)
by MalevolentUnderstatement
Summary: ( PHAN ) - Dan and phil ( danisnotonfire & amazingphil ) Dan wakes up after a night out on the town, in a house he has no recollection of ever visiting. When he arrives back home Phil brings a few issues to attention, making Dan ultimately embarrassed. A story of Love, lust, hurt, humor, betrayal and hurt. *WARNING CONTAINS FLUFF AND SMUT*
1. Chapter 1

**Dan's POV**  
Bright gleaming light filled the room, curtains still hung by the sides of his windows, the flickering of the dim red light on the computer monitor became a distraction to the sleeping individual. As his eyes peeled open they reflected the soft glow of orange from his uncovered window arrangement.  
"je..suuss" he sighed as he sat up making an abrupt sound, rubbing his eyes the returned his feet to the cold wood floor, several things were wrong with this situation.  
1\. This wasn't his house.  
2\. Three other people lie in the room near the bed he had just awoke from.  
3\. It was 4am.  
Where the hell was he..  
he stood up and the blankets slowly cascaded off his pale body.  
adding one more thing to the list as he got up, groaning.  
He was completely naked apart from the tiny briefs that lay around his waist, hips and upper thigh.  
"Shit" he replied to the sight of his bare legs bare chest and more importantly, bare genitals.  
A familiar sight graced him.  
His black skinny jeans, his Yeezus shirt, his belt, his grey jumper and his dull grey hightop shoes.  
quickly assembling them he noticed the person with long cascading blue hair move her hands and head, she quickly sat up, rubbing her own eyes and staring at a fully dressed stranger.  
"ello ther-" she coughed, standing up. "um, hey. Do you happen to uh-" he said scratching the back of his head "know where the hell we are" She scoffed to herself "Me and my friends ere" she exclaimed, pointing to two others lying passed out on the ground "were at a club last night when you approached us, mate i've never seen anyone as plastered as you were" she finished the sentence by laughing "well," he exclaimed "that would explain the cracking headache that is unfortunately blessing my mind thismorning" Rubbing his temples he finished his sentence " would also explain the smell of me, I stink like pondscum" She laughed "anyway" Pulling a cigarette out of her pocket accompanied by the lighter "want one?" she said slipping it into her mouth " it'll help the headache" He held out his hand and she passed him a cigarette, he put it between his teeth as she light it, sucking in the fumes he coughed heavily "you right?" she scoffed, He nodded bringing it up to his mouth again. This time doing it properly. "anyways I better tell you why you're here aye? Well, we were at a club last night, ya know the little nook one in the corner over that way" she pointed somewhere far off in the distance, He nodded as he exhaled. "yeah that one, when you walked up to as, spitting some kinda shit not even Stephen fuckin hawking could understand, something like what have I done phil phil all that bullshit, we were like man" inhaling and exahaling quickly she continued, his eyes transfixed on her. " we were like man we gotta help this guy, this is my bedroom by the way, the name is Casey I share the flat with these guys" she finished by laughing again "we couldn't get a name outta you last night so we didn't bother telling you ours." She pointed to a girl with short pixie cropped blonde hair wearing a short fishnet dress accompanied by big black hoop earrings and large heels " thats Nyxie or Nyxiandra whichever whatever" he stared at Nyxie's small frame for a second admiring her figure and how gorgeous she looked, His eyes moved back to Caseys finger now pointing at a larger girl with long blonde hair wearing a flowing white dress and small black boots "Hayley, Hales" his eyes moved back to Casey, He admired her tiny figure, her misfits teeshirt, black jeans, steampunk boots and nose piercing. She was pretty gorgeous too. " So we thought god this guys cute" He blushed and scratched his head "He needs some good guardian angels to take care of him before he pisses off a local and gets himself a black eye" he blushed again "So we took you here, took off your clothes and tucked you in, not before admiring you of course" his cheeks were now redder than her smuged lipstick "My names Dan" "Oh dans such a cute name" she said punching his arm playfully "Dan" she sighed thinking to herself for a second, "Daniel or just Dan?" "I like to be called Dan but yeah its Daniel" he exclaimed beaming his smile cheek to cheek. "Oh well Dan Daniel, better get home hey?" "Ahah, yeah my flatmate will be wondering where I am" "is that Phil" they both awoke groaning "Shut up case you daft shit" said Nyxie "I second that, let me sleep you ditsy moose" accompanying Nyxie was Hayley's gravel scraped voice Dan inhaled quickly. Exhaling as he walked passed the girls, " Yeah that's Phil ah, Well yeah, hey. Um" he said awkwardly "I got to get going, I'll see you" he walked out the door closing it softly behind him, or so he thought Casey jamming her foot in the door now behind him "going to leave without a hug from your angel?" She extended her arms cigarette in one hand lighter in the other, He extended his arms and they embraced quickly "well seeya Dan Daniel, why don't you have my number or something?" Why wasn't she letting him leave, he needed to get back home "ah sure" he said followed by the quick spurting of his number to a now swiftly typing casey "exits that way Dan Daniel" she beamed pointing toward a door in the far left corner of the room he was now in, he exited the building, but his headache didn't, The cigarette had helped a bit but it was quickly running out, He inhaled once more as he stepped out of the building, Exhaling as he walked by the club Casey was pointing too earlier, Jesus had he really drank that much, He didn't remember a thing! Pacing down the street he was now at the tube entrance, he pulled his oyster card from his pocket being surprised that the contents of his belongings were still intact and more importantly not missing; he put out his cigarette before entering the tube. It was a long ride; he knew where he was when he left Casey's, but how the hell had he gotten there? The last he remembered was being at home cooking food, he hardly even remembered that. Travelling for at least twenty minutes his headache began to subside, his stomach growled with hunger as the tube doors opened and exposed him to the cold wintry London he remembered, When he reached his apartment complex he opened the doors to the stairs, he walked alone to the door of his flat he shared with his best friend Phil he pushed the key in the lock and pushed through the door, travelling up another flight of stairs to the door opening to his hall, He walked in hearing a clatter in the kitchen "Phil?" he called "Who is it?" Dan poked his head around the kitchen door and smiled at a startled Phil, Phil's expression dropped to a low smile "why're you here" this confused Dan. Why else would he be here, he lived here. "Where else would I be?" he asked smirking as we walked the the breakfast bar slumping on one of the three chairs behind it "well last night and all" "what do you mean last night, I don't even remember what happened, I woke up in some random apartment with all these weird girls surrounding me and one told me I was in a club at the west end of the fucking township" The coughed vigorously, last night's drinks threatening his throat "anyways she told me I was plastered when I walked in anyways and they all looked after me" "yeah, you were plastered" Phil smirked as he poured cereals into a bowl "So Phillion, want to tell me what lead up to me waking up in a strangers flat having a casual chat and a smoke" "You had a smoke" Dan scoffed and bored his eyes into Phil " what's so wrong with that" " you never smoke" "Casey said it would help and I bel-" "Casey?" "One of the girls" "Oh." It was silent. "Well" Phil cleared his throat "you and I were celebrating your new subscriber goal with a some cocktails, Pj and Chris included" "I don-" Dan coughed, the drinks from the night before now stung in his throat threatening to make a reappearance. "You don't remember because you had a whole bottle of jacks, three glasses of triple distilled vodka and a few Smirnoff ices" "fucking hell why didn't you guys stop me" "because you were upset over something, we thought you were just letting your emotions go" "so you let me accompany some liver failure and awful headache and a twisting stomach" " you snuck out after we uh, put you to bed" "Casey said I was complaining about hurting you or something, you alright mate?" Awkward silence filled the air and Phils face contorted "well?" "Well Daniel.." "Daniel, you never call me Daniel" "Dan then, Dan, Pj Chris you and I were sitting at the table, and you pulled me into the kitchen and planted a big one on my lips and said "I love you phil" and stumbled away  
"oh"


	2. Chapter 2

Phils Pov  
The musky smell of early morning hit me like a brick wall; I glanced over to my alarm clock it read  
4:23 am  
"Ughhhhhhh" I exclaimed, Why in the hell was I even up. My head was splitting in half and I could hardly move my right arm. Last night's activities washed over me like the salty spray of water washes over a sandy shore, slowly from the back of the ocean, a wave forms, I started to remember slowly, The wave builds up, It rushes too my mind, And then it hits me, the wave breaks and crashes onto the sand, The night hit me like a brick wall.  
Jesus almighty avocado raptor spanner Christ, My flat mate, My best friend, My buddy. My other half, My cat whiskered friend.  
Daniel Howell, Dan, Danisnotonfire.  
Kissed me.  
I replayed the moments leading up to it in my mind, it was like I was watching a movie, but not with my eyes, with my mind, with my heart my soul.  
Dan and I went out and bought a load of drinks that day, I could tell he was down all week, I was determined to cheer him up so I suggested it too him three days before  
"Hey Dan do you reckon we should invite Pj and Chris over here for a few drinks and some games or something on Friday?" Dan let out a kind of moaning sigh as he lifted himself from his browsing position on the couch, he'd been on Tumblr for around an hour now with the same face glued to the screen. He rested his computer down as he stood up.  
"I don't know, Uh" He seemed to stand there forever, thinking to himself.  
"Yeah I guess, Anything's better than this I guess" he pointed around the room and then quickly slide his hand behind his head to scratch the back of his neck.  
"Cool alright, anyone else?" I blinked as I watched him think again.  
"Nah, I only feel like being around you guys when I drink for a while. Last time when we invited Cat over I got plastered and embarrassed the shit out of myself"  
"Ahah, yeah I remember that, you took off yo-"  
Dan launched himself onto Phil in a fit of playful rage  
"oi! Shut up"  
this is the first time this week Dan had remotely looked and sounded kind of.. happy.  
This was short lived, Dan sat up, standing up almost robotically he brushed the dust off of his knees and arms and excused himself with no other words.

Phil thought back to the night, buying drinks, ah yes.  
the odd looking pair walked awkwardly through the Bottle O' picking up A bottle of Jack Daniels, Dan thought it was ironic because it had his name on it so he picked it up and added it to the cart, we already had two bottles of Midori, we had tequila and seven four packs of Smirnoff ices and a couple 6 packs of cider. Phil spoke up "are we really going to drink all of this stuff" Dan looked down "Yeah well I know i'll be drinking alot" what did this mean? Was this his way of coping with the sadness that inhibits him? God knows. But he looked down " Alot?" Dan looked up from his phone "Huh?" he asked , it looked like he was reading through messages or something, I tried to take a quick glance. But he moved his phone into his pocket before I could get a proper look "Alot, you said you'd be drinking alot" he fidgeted as they stood in the middle of the isle admiring some fine red wines "It's been a kind of shit week, I'd rather forget about it so my plan is to get completely shitfaced, in the comfort of my own home where I won't embarrass myself" I looked at him worryingly "Why has it been a shit week, we can talk about it if you'd like?" He shook his head back and forth "No thanks phillion" he patted my head running his hands through my hair "rather keep this to myself okay?" he smiled sweetly "okay so what do you plan on drinking Dan?" I said, but I was wondering more about what he was keeping from me.. What does he have to hide from his best friend? He pointed to the bottle of Jack "That's all mine, like literally all mine no one else's" I sighed "Okay, what else" He pointed to everything else "A mixture" he cheekily smiled. It worried me that the only reason he was smiling was because he wanted to get drunk, we made our way to the counter with a trolley full of liver damage "okay gents, Can I see some id?" I flashed my Id at him, he nodded and scanned the liquor laying it in a thin mesh bag "alright then gents that comes to, his eyes following the numbers on his screen he looked up quickly, his eyes fixed on mine, " Two hundred and thirty seven pounds fifty fife" We were really blowing it on alcohol, "Cash or card?" "Uh, Card" I spoke up clearing my voice "So you gents off to a party aye?" the tender laughed to himself "Uh," I spoke "Were having some friends over tonight and we needed to restock the fridge so yeah, aha" Phil awkwardly laughed to himself "Sounds cool gents!" he said as he once again overused the word 'gents' "make sure to be careful with that much aye?" "Sure thing" they picked up the bags and walked out the store to their apartment, it was only a 15 minute walk from here. It was silence the whole time. Dan didn't speak once besides from the time he almost dropped his bag whilst texting. The whole time all he would do was text as I watched him. When we reached the lift I spoke up "I didn't want to cause a stir in that store but seriously dan, what has you so wound up, you've.. you've hardly even spoken too me at all.." Dan looked up from his phone "Sorry I just, Well I can't" He rubbed the back of his neck " I can't really tell you.. it's kind of really personal, phil I would tell you but I just can't. I'd rui-" he stopped talking, like he just cut himself off. "I would just, I don't know I just can't say anything okay" His eyes now a glassy state, I noticed them water up I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him  
"oh god Dan if its really that personal I'm sorry for bringing it up honestly I didn't mean to hurt you in any way"  
Tears spilled down his cheeks, he flung his arms around me and grasped my body tightly, his chest heaving in and out, he whimpered and breathed heavily spilling tears all over my shirt, I grasped back "I just I Phil, I-" more tears spilled out "it's okay don't say anything" I said, two arms around him, one still grasping the bag full of liquor we stood there for what seemed like hours before we realised we were still in the lift, He brushed the tears off his cheeks and rubbed his eyes with clenched fists, he was still holding a bag too. "Sorr-" I cut him off "No! Don't apologise it's fine!" I pressed the button to open both doors to the lift as we were now on our floor, we made our way to our room I presented the key and slid it harshly into the lock, it was hard with one not useful hand, that being my left, we walked up the stairs locking the door behind us making our way to the kitchen, when we arrived we opened the bags and layed and various bottles and cans onto the counter, Dan cracked open the Jacks " A little early don't you think, Pj and Chris won't get here before seven and it's only four now" Dan shrugged pulling his hello kitty mug from the kitchen cupboards he poured the jacks handsomely into his mug and chugged down at least three mouthfuls his face contorted into the kind of face you get when you bite into a lemon, he shuddered " I don't remember jacks ever being so, Bitey" he shrugged and sipped it seeming to enjoy what he had just a few seconds ago accused of being gross, I watched his every move. He added more to the mug gently sipping it, He did so until he finished the entire bottle before 6:00pm he was now extremely tipsy "P-hil Phil mate some ere phil mate" he repeated until i appeared with a bowl full of twisties and another filled with Maltesers "Jolly you're a good mate hey! Yum yum yum-" he reached into the bowl of Maltesers stumbling off the couch into a kind of cross legged sit onto the carpet resting his head against the couch cushion " Dan sit up you'll choke" I said worryingly. I'd been watching him knock back drinks for the past two hours and he was only getting worse. I just fiddled around, i'd only drank a Smirnoff ice and two ciders, I was completely fine. At seven there was a knock on the door, I ran down stairs, Dan had gotten more erratic as he started drinking more and more and more. He was now drunk, but not completely. On a scale of 1-10 one being fine 10 being passing out shitfaced throwing up and groping random strangers, Dan was a seven not too bad, but still bad enough to make me worry, I invited our guests in, I explained that Dan was a little drunk. They both nodded and we continued to talk on the stairs for five minutes until Dan stumbled down the stairs "Ah fuck!" he screamed "My fucking ankle Jesus almighty burning Christian lizard ejaculation!" Pj, Chris and I stared up in horror as he belted swears, we had many elderly neighbours and I'm sure they won't appreciate the fact that my drunken flat mate is screaming inappropriate swears throughout the flat, He continued to stumble now limping, All three of us stared at him without a word as he made his way down "Peej!" he pulled pj into a tight hug "right mate let's get you up stairs hey?" Dan flashed his sad puppy dog eyes, his cute completely innocent puppy dog eyes and exclaimed "No hello Dan! How are you!" he ran up by himself "Jesus" Chris breathed out as he accompanied Phil up the stairs "you didn't tell us he'd be completely plastered" Pj said following Chris's swear "I didn't know this would happen, he's had a rough week guys?" I caught their attention "Why, what's happening to him" I shrugged as we walked up the stairs "he won't tell me" They mimicked each other at the exactly same time "Oh" they looked at each other and laughed. We walked into the lounge Seeing Dan knocking back a Smirnoff ice by himself, he had three empty cans next to him. The look of sudden horror on his face slowly subsided "i was I was just Jesus what am i doin-" his head fell into his hands he made whimpering sounds, I showed Chris and Pj to the fridge where I stored the drinks "Just, take a few or whatever and I'll go talk to Dan, feel free to sit wherever you want guys I mean it" I sighed "Make yourselves at home here!" A fake smile washed over my face, they nodded and grabbed a few beers out the fridge and nestled into the couch. I walked over to Dan, and pulled him into my room "come on Dan" He followed me, I could feel Chris's and pj's eyes boring into the back of my head, i didn't care I needed to make sure Dan was ok "I closed the door behind me as Dan sat on my bed, his head again falling into hands "i-i-i-i-" he sniffed "I'm such a fucking awful- h- hu- human" he sniffled dragging his hand across his nose "I feel- i- feel so alone Phil th- the only way I can feel is if i get drunk or- or- -o" the sentence trailed off into hopeless mumble. I just put my hand around his back and propped him up as he cried into me "I'm useless phil,- I – please don't say I'm n- not I know i am i just sit aroun- around I do nothing- I just want to d-" he burst into tears a shrieked "IM FUCKING USELESS" He roared as he stood up running into the kitchen "Jesus Dan stop yelling!" i called after him as I ran, Chris watching as he popped a Malteser into his mouth, Pj sipping at his cider. I ran to the Kitchen I walked into the sight of him with his hands on the bench top staring into the glass of an overhead cabinet at himself. it seemed like he was looked deeper, not at his reflection, at his soul, at himself, he was looking deep into everything he had ever done, tear tracks and puffy red cheeks made him look even sweeter than he usually did, I can admit, Dan is attractive as heck, everyone knows it. But I'm not the teensiest bit homosexual. I was Bisexual at one point but I was going through a weird phase. I don't know, He was just attractive, if I was still going through that and he was, I would definitely have done something about it already, but he was my mate. My best friend in the whole entire world, he's been there for me through everything. As he stared at himself I could feel him going deeper into his depression. "Im sorry Phil" he said with a stone face, still looking into himself "I can't take living anymore, im having a hard time and it's fucking awful because.. Because I can't" before I knew what was happening he jumped on me locking his lips with mine. It felt strange, Kissing Dan. I was so familiar with seeing his face, but I'd never been this close, I didn't know what to do, do I kiss back? His lips felt like silk on mine, he thrust up against me grinding his hips against mine, he smashed us both into the kitchen wall sending a throbbing pain up my arm which had been in my back pocket. I didn't kiss back the whole time. Afterward he jumped back with a terrified face it then switched to a happy drunk slurring face "Love you Phillion!" He screamed and started dancing erratically; He was drunk he didn't mean it. I knew he didn't but why the sudden change in behaviour? Why was he doing this, shortly after, he collapsed. I dragged him too his room with the help of Chris. "Fucking hell what happened in the kitchen?" I thought, I couldn't tell them. "Nothing, he was just really upset" I lied "Oh, okay." Christ replied "Need some help lads!?" Pj called from the lounge "Should be good peej" after we dragged Dan into bed Christ and Pj left, I walked back to Dan's room, he was fast sleep. I went to bed. I was too tired, things racing through my mind; i couldn't fathom in the slightest what had happened today. I didn't want to really. I just lie there until I fell into a black hole full of thoughts and questions. I woke up feeling muggy and tired I looked to the alarm clock. It was fucking two in the morning. I had only gone to bed three hours ago , Rubbing my eyes I jumped out of bed to check on Dan, remembering his erratic behaviour last night, I stumbled to his room opening the door and finding nothing but sheets. 'whaaa-" I breathed "where is he" i said to myself quietly. I called throughout the apartment "dan, Daniel? Where are you come here" I looked everywhere but he wasn't existent in any space I looked. I called the police asking what I should do; they asked his state of mind before I put him to bed. I lied "Uh" I spoke back to the policewoman on the other end of the phone "he was happy, we had a few drinks maybe he just stuffed off down the road" "Yes, Philip that would be the best explanation I could give you at this point in time" She cleared her throat "wait until morning, If he isn't there by one in the afternoon give us a call and we'll send out a search, just try and have a sleep" I nodded although she couldn't see "is that okay with you" I replied "yes its fine thank you for being such a great help though" "I do this at least 40 times a night mate it's fine" I hung up, I guess now. All I could do was wait. I couldn't stop thinking about him as I lay on my bed, I couldn't stop thinking about particular things, his gorgeous eyes, his gorgeous hair. His soft silky lips his slow kisses, I could remember it all rushing through my head at once. I didn't want to think of him like this. I liked girls. Alot, I liked the whole act, the Boobs, the Hair, the Eyes, The thighs. I liked it all. I couldn't deny I didn't think he was attractive though. Because he was, he was just something. It all lead back to one thing, the thoughts,  
the kiss.  
I woke up early and started making myself pancakes.  
I heard the unlocking of our door downstairs "Phil" the voice called, I replied "Who is it" who was it? I turned around to see an unshaven, very tired, very muggy looking Daniel Howell.  
"why're you here?" I exclaimed "Where else would I be" he said shrugging his shoulders.  
He explained his night to me as I stared in awe.  
""So Phillion, want to tell me what lead up to me waking up in a strangers flat having a casual chat and a smoke" I gasped "You had a smoke" Dan wouldn't ever touch a cigarette, What is with him, what is happening to him.  
" what's so wrong with that" he exclaimed, his eyes boring into me " you never smoke" i responded.  
he continued to ask questions about the night and what happened, I had to tell him. "Dan then, Dan, Pj Chris you and I were sitting at the table, and you pulled me into the kitchen and planted a big one on my lips and said "I love you phil" There was silence cast throughout the room "Oh" He said, I fiddled with my hands staring at him, he looked so disappointed in himself, But i wasn't thinking about That, I was thinking about something that I couldn't take my mind away from. His lips against mine. The grinding of our hips, and the chemistry that filled the fragrant air of our humble little kitchen. "yeah" I softly exclaimed.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Malevolent here, This story can now be found On WattPad, You can continue reading it here:

story/34536695-an-awkward-understanding

Please go give it some reads, Im no longer continuing the story with this site, as I've found wattpad easier to use and just better in general FOR ME.  
Im certainly not dissing this site, because it's pretty cool c:  
But anyways, If you want to read this story go onto that link, and it'll take you right there!  
Much love 3


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